Forgiveness

Recent events in my life have caused the need for me to very closely examine the subject of forgiveness. I’m talking more here about forgiveness between two people rather than the forgiveness that comes from God. So here goes …

JUDICIAL FORGIVENESS is a forgiveness that centers around the condition of your heart. It’s when you purpose within yourself to forgive someone else, attempting to give the type of unconditional forgiveness that God grants to all.

RELATIONAL FORGIVENESS is a forgiveness that cannot be offered unless it is asked for. In other words, although judicial forgiveness may have occured, relational forgiveness cannot occur until it is prompted by someone asking for it.

Put another way, you might call judicial forgiveness a general forgiveness, and relational forgiveness a specific forgiveness. The former seems predicated on one’s relationship with God, while the latter seems to be centered on one’s interaction with other human beings.

I think that all too often — and I count myself at the top of the list — people find themselves unable to forgive because they are trying to jump straight into relational forgiveness. They haven’t really addressed the condition of their own heart, and the thoughts or emotions that they have towards one another when there has been conflict or strife. As a result, they find themselves unable to grant the relational forgiveness, although they may in their mind actually desire to (and know that it is redemptive). This is definitely something I struggle with … going through the stage of judicial forgiveness is difficult, because it involves the nature and depth of your relationship with God. On the other hand, relational forgiveness is hard because it involves granting forgiveness to someone who may have hurt you very badly, and whom you might just really not want to talk to or even see ever again.

I am not sure if any of this makes sense, or if I have just had an episode of word vomit. Thoughts, anyone?

The long awaited photo … me and my shaven head!

Samson & The Wisdom of Kathleen

GoI did something yesterday that I’ve been talking for some time to Kat about doing … I shaved my head. Yep. Bald as a cue ball (I’ll post a picture in a couple of days, once the fishbelly white look has faded). I told myself that I had always promised myself that I would do it once my hairline receded to a certain point, and that the time had come. Afterwards, I told Kat (mostly in jest) that the haircut was an outward reflection of my inward desire that God would cut away the things in me that did Him no honor. The funny thing was that once it was done, I actually did feel like something more than just hair got cut away. Call it sin, call it clinging to my will instead of His, call it whatever, but I felt something toxic leave my system. It’s like my bared head reflects the way that I have been trying to bare myself before God and others. I was telling all of this to Kat, and she began reminding me of the story of Samson. And then she said it:

“Samson had to lose his hair and his strength to be reminded that his strength had come from God in the first place.”

God has definitely blessed me with a wise fiance’.

"Who’s On First?" 21st Century Style

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, “Who’s on first?” might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If it’s a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4.Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great! With what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue “1″.

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue “1″.

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOTT: The blue “1″ is Real One and the blue “W” is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there are three words in “office for windows”!

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it’s the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’t even part of Office.

COSTELLO: STOP! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on “START”…..

Wedding registries

One of the fun parts of getting ready to get married is registering at places where you want people to buy you presents! Here’s a link to our wedding webpage, that shows where we’re registered and what we’re registered for. It also tells how we first met, how we got engaged, good stuff like that.

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/KathleenByrd&ChadElliott